Do you believe in God? How are you doing mentally and emotionally? Are you at peace with God?
The light goes on. The light goes off. These 17 light bulb jokes will actually make you sound smart.
This biography of a living person needs additional citations for verification. Many thanks Jmd89 - 1-Mar AM. Never has 'dectector van' evidence been used to apply for a warrant. When visiting Miami I was advised by some English chums that certain areas were a bit dodgy and should be avoided! It is rubbish to say we have more say or clout in the EU. Luckily bender doesn't only mean a gay man, it also means a pub crawl or a heavy drinking session. So if the plane lands momentarily will there be enough time for anyone to get off?
Get ready for 15 more witty bar jokes anyone can remember. The fellow was being sold a very cheap suit. Two doctors happened along and noticed him. A young monk arrives at the monastery. He is assigned to helping the other monks in copying the old laws of the church by hand. He notices, however, that all of the monks are copying from copies, not from the original manuscript.
So, the new monk goes to the head monk to question this, pointing out that if someone made even a small error in the first copy, it would never be picked up! In fact, that error would be continued in all of the subsequent copies. He goes down into the dark caves underneath the monastery where the original manuscripts are held in a locked vault. Hours go by and nobody sees the head monk. The young monk gets worried and goes down to look for him. He sees him banging his head against the wall and wailing.
The second guy sees this and does the same thing. During the Civil War, my great uncle fought for the west! A skeleton walks into a bar. You need to learn these 20 corny Halloween jokes! A blind man visits Texas. When he gets to his hotel room, he feels the bed. The man heads downstairs to the bar, settles into a huge barstool and orders a beer. A mug is placed between his hands. After downing a few, the blind man asks where the bathroom is. The blind man heads for the bathroom but accidentally enters the third door, which leads to the swimming pool, and he falls in.
It can only become stairs.
Keep these 30 funny holiday jokes in mind for your next party! Two men are adrift in a lifeboat for days. When he touches it, a genie comes forth. This particular genie, however, states that she can deliver only one wish, not the standard three. They avoid contact with humans so we suggest you attach small bells to your rucksacks and give the bears time to get out of your way.
However, grizzly bears are extremely dangerous. If you see any grizzly-bear droppings leave the area immediately. A man is struggling to find a parking space. Suddenly, the clouds part and the sun shines on an empty parking spot. I want to achieve it by not dying.
The village blacksmith finally found an apprentice willing to work hard for long hours. Check out these 50 corny jokes everyone will laugh at! There once were twin boys, age six, that had developed extreme personalities. One was a pessimist and the other a total optimist. Concerned, their parents took them to a psychiatrist.
First, the psychiatrist treated the pessimist. Trying to brighten his outlook, the psychiatrist took him to a room filled with toys. But instead of yelping with delight, the little boy burst into tears.
Next, the psychiatrist treated the optimist. Trying to dampen his out look, the psychiatrist took him to a room piled to the ceiling with horse manure.
But instead of wrinkling his nose in disgust, the optimist climbed to the top of the pile, and began gleefully digging out scoop after scoop with his bare hands. Ten what? These wise—and hilarious—quotes from The Good Place can be applied to everyday life! If you want to sound like a genius, tell your friends one of these 25 clever jokes.
A secret agent was sent to Ireland to pick up sensitive information from an agent called Murphy. His instructions were to walk around town using a code phrase until he met his fellow agent. He found himself on a desolate country road and finally ran into a farmer. In fact, my name is Murphy. Need something shorter?
Here are 75 short jokes everyone can remember! A man gets home early from work and hears strange noises coming from the bedroom. He rushes upstairs to find his wife naked on the bed, sweating and panting. The guy slams the phone down and storms upstairs into the bedroom, walks past his screaming wife, and rips open the wardrobe door. Sure enough, there is his brother, totally naked, cowering on the closet floor. Except at a funeral. A man was stranded on a desert island for 20 years when a navy ship finally spots him. The captain comes ashore and notices three huts. If not, go to 30 feet, then 20 feet, and so on until you get a response.
Next, he moves into the dining room. Want something shorter?
Check out these 47 funniest one-liner jokes on the Internet. A man walks into a rooftop bar and takes a seat next to another guy. Then he shows him: He swigs some beer, dives off the roof, flies around the building, then finally returns to his seat with a triumphant smile. He downs it, leaps off the roof—and plummets 15 stories to the ground.